The "Illegal"

Recently, Vishnu and I watched "Illegal", a 2019 drama film directed by Danish Renzu. This powerful movie tells the story of a young man who comes to the US on a student visa to pursue his dream of becoming a film director. However, his journey is far from easy and the story sheds light on the many struggles he encounters along the way.

As I watched the film, I was overwhelmed by a sense of melancholy and gratitude. 

The melancholy came mostly from my thoughts of my parents, aunts and uncles, in-laws, and other cherished people in my life who had faced similar challenges when they arrived in the United States nearly three decades ago. Although they seldom discuss their experiences, I know that life was incredibly difficult for them back then.

Many of my loved ones worked arduous jobs, sometimes multiple jobs simultaneously, just to ensure that there was food on the table. They took on this demanding work despite holding college or graduate-level degrees in India. In their pursuit of a brighter future for the next generation, they often returned to school while working full-time (or more), barely sleeping, and sacrificing their own well-being. 

Aside from the hard work, long hours, and little to no rest… I can’t even imagine the struggle and stress of navigating a new world. One simple, but relevant, example is a story my mom shared with about how she struggled to pass a nutrition class in nursing school because so much of the food was so foreign to her. 

To be honest, my family doesn't really discuss the hardships of their early days. When they reminisce about those years, they tend to focus on the fond memories they shared—family dinners, picnics at local parks on holidays, and drives to visit random places for a slice of pizza. These small tokens of happiness were born from the love and support they provided to one another. In a way, their silence speaks volumes about their resilience, always looking and moving forward.

Despite their positive attitude and outlook about their early years in this country, I couldn’t help but feel sad while watching the film. To some degree, I know many of loved ones put their dreams and goals aside, to survive in this country just like Hassan did in the movie.  And just like Hassan, I shudder to think what injustices and indecencies they too may have to endure. It is the unfortunate, unspoken and all too common story of so many immigrants. When you look at people like my parents now… well adjusted, successful, happy, and proud United States Citizens, it can be easy to forget or overlook their difficult early years. However, movies like ‘illegal’ remind you of that struggle and evoke a deep sense of appreciation, as well as a profound sadness, knowing your loved one have weathered such tough times. 

Another emotion weighed heavily on me throughout the film: a deep sense of gratitude for those who supported my family during their early years in the US. To be honest, this is something I think about periodically, though I rarely express it, as such topics are just not discussed in my family. However, I am acutely aware of how blessed I am to have such a loving and unwaveringly supportive family. This incredible extended family has not only changed the trajectory of my life forever but has also transformed the lives of future generations.

In the film, Hassan's uncle essentially abandons him upon his arrival in the US, claiming that he and his family are experiencing financial hardship and leaving Hassan to fend for himself. I couldn't help but wonder, what if my uncle had never supported my dad (and all of us)? What if he had left my dad to fend for himself? What would have become of my dad? Would my mom ever have come to the states? Would I have come here? Would I have met Vishnu or had Rishabh? Our lives would have been so different if my uncle had decided not to help my dad.

My gratitude is profound, as I recognize that what my uncle and his family did was far from easy. In fact, it was incredibly challenging. Accommodating over ten additional family members in their home at any given time was an immense responsibility. Providing everyone with food, clothing, education, transportation, and more was a full-time job in itself. Coupled with their own full-time jobs, raising their children, and tackling life's other obstacles, my uncle and his family made significant sacrifices to make space in their lives and homes for people like my family.

My immediate family has benefited from numerous acts of familial generosity, such as when my maternal relatives in India took care of my sister and me for extended periods because my parents couldn't afford quality childcare. We spent months in India, nurtured by my aunts who had their own children to raise. How can one possibly express gratitude for such magnanimous support? 

I could go on and on with examples like the one above. Words alone cannot do justice to their life-changing acts of love. All I can do is perpetuate their ideals and standards of family and share their story with Rishabh to the best of my ability. I want my son to understand how blessed his life is and the reason behind those blessings: his family.

"Illegal" is an especially must-watch film for any immigrants/ first-generation immigrants. The struggles Hassan faced are heart-wrenching and all too real. And to those of us blessed to be on the other side of those struggles, the film serves as a poignant reminder of our roots and the importance of expressing gratitude to those who supported us in those early days.