Indian American Love Child

Shit just got really real, and really quick. Monday marked the first day of the Neurocritical Residency Program. The past month has been a whirlwind with everything going on, so to be honest, I didn't get much time to think about the program. Needless to say when I started the week was intense. I don't think I have ever been so excited, nervous, proud, and honestly scared shitless in my life!!!   For starters, I feel very proud. Turns out this is the first nurse externship/residency program ever to happen at JFK, and I get to be one of the first participants! We were "hand selected" from a very large group of people as per my managers... and I personally know countless people who did not make it. I feel so blessed and honored to be part of the program, and I can't help but feel this job is going to take my career to whole other level that I didn't even imagine!   Even though I am really excited and proud, I am also terrified. The depth of knowledge I

A little overwhelmed recently. Actually not a little overwhelmed, very overwhelmed. Too much going on... Broke my lease, found yera a temp apt till may, found a condo, in the process of working on getting a mortgage, put in an offer, and now packing and preparing to move in less than two weeks. Not to mention, working a boatload because we are so short staffed. Plus, trying to prep for the new position that starts less than a week away, and I have to study and test out of a class for TESC. And to top it all off, I am trying to get back in the dating scene. Needless to say, my skin looks like a volcano exploded. The stress is not doing my mind or body well. Honestly, some days I don't even know where to begin. For starters, this mortgage crap is hella confusing!! I just don't understand financial stuff. Everyone says different things, and even though my dad has been supportive and trying to explain things to me- I just don't get it. Then on top of that, I have been tryin

I don't know what has come over me recently, but all of sudden, I feel this immense pride in myself. I don't mean an arrogant air or sense of entitlement, but just a genuine feeling of accomplishment and worth. Today when I looked in the mirror, I honestly broke into a big smile because I was happy at what was being reflected back at me. I literally thought to myself, I am proud of the woman I have become. I can not even begin to explain how amazing that experience was. To just be happy with yourself! Maybe people have this feeling all the time? I really don't know? But for me (sadly) this has been a first. I feel so content, so fulfilled, and I think the reason is I finally realized my happiness is not dependent on anyone else. For once, I recognize my life, and it's course, is solely in my hands. My career, my financial security, my body, my love life, almost everything... will be a result of MY choices.  I feel empowered! Perhaps, this a fleeting feeling? A