Scared
I had a whole post about California drafted. I spent paragraphs raving about how much I loved the weather, the nursing staffing laws, getting to spend time Rose, meeting new people from all accross the country, all the outdoor activities, blah blah blah. Delete. Because while I am still happy to be here for all those reasons, I now have a new more overpowering emotion that has taken over and changed my Californian expererience all together. I am scared. Straight scared. I thought I could date out here. I guess a part of me really didn't think I was going to meet anyone that I would actually like. Well I was wrong, super wrong, and now I am falling for someone hard and fast. It scares me on so many levels. I almost just want to end it, and save myself the risk of heartbreak. But I won't, because thats cowardly, and thats never been my style. So i am going to try and outlive this terror for now, and hopefully God has something good in store for me #fingerscrossed #leapoff