Indian American Love Child

PAUSE. Before I continue with my regularly scheduled programming, I have to share something I am super  excited  about. So, you know how everyone talks about social media and the media in general is bad for self-esteem, body image, etc. For the most part, I 100% agree. Seeing photo shopped images all day, err day is not doing anyone, any good. However, yesterday I had an amazing positive moment while surfing you tube.  In general, I know the current day beauty standards are moving towards “thick” women. Women with tiny waists, but prominent hips + butts + thighs. Everywhere you look you can see the change. From the fashion trends (fashion nova case and point) and IG fitness models & their ‘build your glutes’ workouts to the obsession with the Kardashians that just fails to die. But old habits die hard. Even though I see the changing trend and even though I am  slowly  embracing my curves, I am still somewhat stuck in that traditional mindset of ‘skinny’...

I've tried to write the last couple of months, but truthfully something seemed off every time I picked up the pen. Every time I wrote, it felt like:  1. My words didn’t capture what I was truly feeling. Not the depth or the scope of the pain, confusion, hurt, self doubt, loneliness or the plethora of other emotions I was feeling or had felt during that time 2. I KNEW whatever I was feeling and expressing was also SUPER transient, sometimes even changing moment to moment.  And so, I decided that even though the pen was and is, one of my favorite outlets, writing  was probably in some ways, not the best for me. The thing with written word is, it is permanent. You can not unwrite it, un say it, or in any way, deny it. If i wrote what i was feeling and thinking at one of my lowest points...it would, in a way, give validation to them. And more than just validation, it would take them from what could just be transient thoughts and feelings to a more concrete rea...