Indian American Love Child

I can not believe 2013 is coming to an end. To be honest, it feels like a bit of a blur. Not only was it incredibly eventful, it was tumultuous. The good times were really damn good, and the bad times were pretty bad. The roller coaster of highs and lows were quite taxing, and for that reason, I am happy to see this year pass. Even though it wasn't my best year, it was a very important year. I have done so much growing, and self reflecting, and learning. I am emerging a different person... new and improved! The following are my year's highlights- good and bad: The most fun parts of my year were all my travels:  1. Philly: the RU crew paints the town. booty bumping to classics, an amazing brunch at cuba libra, and sightseeing while dying of a cold -all added up to a great trip 2.Charlotte: checking out the "dirty south" with my brothers. First time shooting a gun and going to a rodeo! Good times grubbing, bonding, and chilling. 3.London & Paris: sightsee

I feel amazing. The Nandita I used to be is peaking through again, but this time, she is better than ever. I find myself spontaneously laughing and smiling again. There is a pep in my step, and a hope in my heart. Maybe its because I don't have the stress of school looming on my head anymore, or the fact that I just resigned from the clinic (woot woot)? I don't know what the reason, but I am loving this feeling. I feel so loved, and so blessed. My parents, sister, extended family, friends, coworkers...I am showered with support and love from all of them. Everyone has been so supportive and encouraging of my dreams and aspirations. Applying to the new position, school, dating, honestly in every aspect of my life. My mom even told me yesterday, that she is not worried about me getting married anymore...that love will find me when I am ready. On that note, i got off shaadi.com. Good lord, I am far too fabulous for that site! Real talk: Life is excellent. I am excited for the new y

So much going on!   Couple weeks back, We found out Dharmendra mama was in hospital after suffering from a clot that traveled to his lungs. Thankfully, he is ok and potential serious complications were evaded. The episode was unsettling because it seems like there is a coagulation problem that runs in our family. Dadaji passed away of unknown causes when he was young. Then mummy, and now Dharmendra mama. Yera and I have to go for a coagulation test at some point. After hearing the news, I am actively trying to lead a healthier life. Working out, eating right, no hookah, etc. because if you don't have your health, you have nothing. Thankfully, my mom and uncle are ok and doing well. We will just take this as a wake up call, and maintain a cleaner bill of health. *Also, Satish Kaki suffered a heart attack two weeks ago, and had to go in for surgery. Then his surgical wound got infected, and he had to go for repair surgery. Everything seems to be, and he is in our house for 6 we

This will be a multiple post series, because currently I am sick as hell and in no condition to write a well thought out, comprehensive piece right now. 2013 has been quite the year. Lots of heart ache, lots of learning, and lots of traveling. Everything from kulfi to family medical problems, has left me smarter and stronger to face the following year. Another day I will analyze the hell out of this year, but for today, I will talk about what faces me tomorrow. So, I got back on Shaadi. Not really because I don't meet people out, but out of pure laziness. It provides an extensive database of brown men that I can filter at my leisure. Anyways, I started talking to this dude out in the Midwest. Cool guy, really nice, always laughing.. and ummm I am meeting him tomorrow! He is actually flying out here! What I like about him is that he straightforward. He texts and he CALLS. He makes plans. He knew I was sick, and he checked in with me. He is about it. No trace of arrogance, at least

Last night, I independently administered my first blood transfusion! It felt awesome to remember the protocol, go through all the steps, and execute the procedure with minimal mishaps. I am definitely becoming more confident with my nursing skills. What's better, is that my confidence is not going unrecognized. The other day, I was on the phone with the doctor discussing a patient, and at the end of the phone call he said "I trust your judgment Nandita, if you need anything, call". I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. This well established and well respected doctor trusted my judgment, and I know he wouldn't have said it, unless he meant it. I really have come a long way since I started working as nurse, and there is so much more to go! I remember when I first started, even the thought of catheterizing a patient freaked me out. Now its one of the easiest things I can do all shift. Wound Vacs, starting IV's, multiple antibiotics, G-tu

Today we experienced the first snowfall of the season. I can't honestly say I was happy to see it. Snow usually means winter is around the corner- and that means bitter cold, short days, and messy driving situations. But there are some wonderful things about this season. The following are reasons why I am happy to welcome to this season: 1. The Holidays! This was far more enjoyable when I was younger, and I actually had off for the holidays, but it is still enjoyable none the less. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and one of my favorites- New Years  are magical, fun-filled times of the year. 2. Holiday music. Cheesy, but undeniably delightful. Santa babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 3. The festive decorations! NYC's fabulous window displays, the grand tree, homes decorated with lights, malls bursting with wreaths and garlands-everything just looks better 4. Pumpkin Pie. Do I really need to say more? 5. The first snowstorm. Also way more enjoyable when I was younger and didn't have to

Pure emotional catharsis starts here: Recently, I met up with someone I once used to date. It was about a year ago when I first met him. At the time, I really liked him.  I honestly opened up my heart to him (and mind you I was a little broken-hearted right before I met him).I gave him my attention, time, and really put myself out there. He, in return, seemed to be about it too. I remember the daily texts, and what seemed to be a genuine interest in my life. At the time things seemed to be good, if not, great. Time, distance, circumstances changed- we remained friends/acquaintances? Nevertheless, every time I met him, I could not help but feel chemistry. Except, this last time when I saw him. There was something off about the whole experience. Maybe because he was out of his comfort zone, maybe because I have been stressed out recently between work, school, etc (and ended up having one too many), maybe the age difference was more transparent. But anyways, I can't lie, I felt a lo

My darling Kulfi, car damage, paying for school,  the vacations I have planned, weddings, and tickets I received have all contributed to my bank account feeling a little under the weather. Thankfully, I am nurse so all that means is I work a little more! But between working extra shifts (and they have been extremely understaffed shifts) and maintaining my shaadi.com career, I am exhausted! This weekend was crazy- Three dates, two nights of going out, and one wedding- and I went to work on Sunday! My dating life has picked up...WAY TOO MUCH. What a conundrum. On one hand, I hate casual dating- it is exhausting but on the other hand if I don't date how will I meet anyone?? Also to shaadi.com or not to shaadi.com??? I don't have any problem meeting men out and about, but to be honest, shaadi does increase your dating pool significantly (maybe way too much?). And I have met some nice guys on that site so to hell with it, I will give it one more go. Atleast, till the end of septembe

Baring my soul here today. I feel lonely. I have stopped actively dating for almost over a month now. I have been trying to occupy my time with other activities- working, caring for kulfi, working out, running errands, cooking, etc, but some how this feeling has still managed to creep in. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world- happily single. Other days, like today, I feel a deep loneliness. It scares me how I much I miss and need someone texting and calling me. Do i really need that much attention? Or is it more innate than that?  I think I just need someone there. Someone to make me smile. Someone to share my good/bad day at work with. Someone to watch mindless television with. Someone to cook for. Someone to love. I am worried that I will fall into the arms of just anyone because I feel so vulnerable. I don't know what to do. This mixture of elation & emptiness/numbness has me feeling emotionally bipolar . I hope these feelings are a passing storm. All that I can

I have wanted a dog all my life and now I finally have one!!! Introducing...Kulfi! She is an adorable 6 week old maltese/shih tsu mix! I got her two days ago, its so exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time! I love having her around but at the same time I have no idea if I am doing things right. Feeding, toileting, attention, etc are all so new to me. And when I went to work on Friday all I could think of all shift was how alone she was, I could not wait to go home!! I can't even imagine how mothers feel when they have to leave their babies to return to work, it must be awful. I also realized I will be 'one of those mothers'. My camera is filled with pictures of her, and I will show them to anyone who will listen. God help the world when I have my first baby! On other news, It's pretty T-1 month till the Bachelorette/Bday trip with the girls...Can't wait! I have been spending time catching up with friends, spending time with family, spending time pursuin

Hola! Happy Hump day! Woke up today feeling excellent! So much to catch up on...I will start with my fabulous weekend! Boston was great! Boston in summer is a world of difference than boston in the winter. I had fun on both trips, but this had a very different charm. On Friday we were greeted by roshani's brother- Neil. What a gentleman. He picked us up, gave us a mini tour, and dropped us off at the hotel. We checked into the Boston Park Plaza. Hands down the scariest hotel I have ever stayed at... the hallways looked like something straight out of Stephen King's 'The Shining'! That night, rosh and I got ready and headed out. Lol the nightlife in Boston was hilarious. Girls in flipflops, men who can't dance, the 22 year old Obama look alike, Rosh's Italiano, the R&B room...we have a great time just taking in the scene. Headed back to the hotel and indulged in late night pizza. Note to self- nothing beats 99 cent NYC pizza when you have the late night munchi

Life has been good. Really good. I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It's like some burden is slowly but surely being lifted off my shoulders. I definitely needed some time to myself. I needed to reevaluate what I need, what I am looking for, and what i deserve. I don't think I have it all figured by any means, but I am slowly learning. For starters, I have finally come to the realization that I am a catch. I am always beating myself up for my faults and shortcomings, but seriously F that. I am pretty damn awesome. I have a great career, a place of my own, & I am back in school- my life is figured out. I am well-travelled, well-read, and informed. I have a pretty sweet personality, and l am loved by all my close family and friends. And to top off all of this, I am pretty easy on the eyes. I have finally realized that I deserve an awesome man. Someone who has their life equally figured, and who has just as much to offer me as I offer them. My mom once said

Its almost 3am but I HAVE to blog about the most AMAZING concert I have ever been to in my life while it's fresh in my head. I think I died and went to musical heaven today. My inner thug rejoiced in Jay-Z lyrical genius. His delivery and presence flawless as always. Combine that with J-T's upbeat pop sound and smooth swag, it was truly an out of the world show. The show was light, and flowed seamlessly. Both artists took turns showcasing their most famous works and also came together to perform their many collaborations. Each set flowed right into each other. Jay Z played every single hit I wanted to hear from Big Pimpin to Run this Town to Hard Knock Life. Of the collaborations, I really liked 'Holy Grail'. The highlight of the show for me was the New York performance. JT opened with Frank Sinatra's version of 'New York, New York'. Jay Z followed with 'Empire State of Mind', and in the middle Alicia keys came out and sang her bit!! Yankee Stadium w

Things on my mind: 1. A toasted everything bagel with vegetable cream cheese. I can act like such a pregnant woman sometimes but honestly I went to bed hungry, and I woke up famished. So I managed to convince the office runner to go get one for me, reassuring him that it's the only way I will make it through the morning. 2. My PSEG bill. What the freak. I swear there is no way the bill could be that high for such a tiny apartment. Paying bills is no fun. I wish I could outsource this portion of my life :/ 3. Sleep. Worked at JFK last night, came home and couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. Woke up at 4:30 to go to the clinic. My bed is all I want!!

Last week was quite nice (until the weekend), I had the oppurtunities to catch up with darshak, guddi, and rushang. I received a bonus at the clinic, and I was asked to work extra shifts at both jobs so basically my September vacation is more than covered and I can throw it down guilt free! I worked out, brought a cute shirt, watched reruns of SATC, really it was a nice week until... The last two days have been mentally exhausting. Yera and I were home for the weekend, and because of yera's stupidity, we experienced every daughter's nightmare. Now my parents and I have a pretty open relationship. They are quite liberal and understanding about most things. They know we go out, that we date, that we drink, etc. But there are just some things you do not want your parents to know!!!! Besides the fact that it is terribly awkward, it something that they do not understand. My parents have raised us well, and I would never want to give them the impression that we are not living by th

Today starts my official man-cation. From July 10-Aug 10 I will abstain from any romantic interactions with any men. Can I just say, I feel amazing. It is like someone lifted this heavy load off my shoulders. These past few weeks I have tormented myself with questions of  "what do I want" , "who do I want", & "do they want me". All the questions are answered. I know who I want, what I want, and how they feel about me. That person can't offer me what I want and need at this time, and that's fine, if its meant to be it will be. I have come to the conclusion that I need to have a little more faith in God's plan for me. He has never failed me thus far, why would he fail me now?! I don't know who I am destined to end up with, and when they will come into my life (or if they are already there) but I am sure as hell not stressing about it anymore. My fairytale will happen, I just to let life and God work its magic :) So what I do have plann

I just found out a little over a week ago that I have a semester off from school. My work schedule is sporadic as always, but I will definitely have quite a bit of downtime. Normally, this free time would have me jumping with joy. Instead, I am almost dreading it because I am afraid. I am afraid of being alone. In 2009 I wrote about the importance of spending time alone. Fast Forward to 2013 and I have forgotten what it is like to be alone. The last two years (maybe more?) have been a non stop frenzy of dating. I cannot remember the last time my phone was not bombarded daily with messages from men trying to land a date, "be my friend", or try their luck at something more. Beside my phone, there hasn't been a time period longer than a month that did not involve a date of some sort. My quest to find love has left me exhausted, a little jaded, and more confused than I have ever been. I need some time alone to recoup, regroup, and figure out what it is that I am looking f

So much on my mind, but sadly I cannot even share even a little bit of it here. Trapped with my own thoughts...disastrous. But alas, maybe I think too much as it is. So, for today, I push all those heavy musings to the side and just BS. The other day I tried fake eyelashes for the first time. I LOVED them. I thought it made me look so sultry and really just made my eyes pop. I wish I had taken a solo shot of the them, but I didn't. I also wish I knew how to put them on independently, but I don't. If I did, that crap would not leave my eyes :) I start working out again (long overdue!) and what the hell I have been sweating buckets. All my life, regardless of the intensity of my workout I barely broke a sweat. It just didn't happen. It's like my body's cooling mechanism was non existent. Not anymore. Literally 15 minutes in, and I am dripping sweat. Nasty! And my hair. My poor hair. Forget it. No point in even doing it if I am going to the gym. Apparently the same

1. Evening walks, especially after a summer shower. The air is fragrant with flowers & fresh cut grass. The breeze is warm and inviting. My Ipod delivers my favorites jams, and with each step my worries and stresses melt away. 2. Mojitos- Mint, lime, and rum- three of my favorite drink components wrapped up in one awesome cocktail makes me one happy camper (in more ways than one!). And now that I have discovered a recipe with equal and club soda- its relatively low cal as well! 3.NYC nights- The city comes alive, and the night seems like a never ending evening of possibilities! No jackets to hold me down, or winter's cold to harass the evening. And of course my favorite evenings are those spent on the city's bountiful rooftop joints! 4. Musical releases! All of the amazing summer albums that are released during the summer make my inner music guru just jump with joy. #4 makes #1 & #3 all the more enjoyable! 5. Wedding season!! Anyone who knows me, knows I am a co

Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind. Toni Morrison This beautiful quote has left me puzzled, and I've raked my mind, for some time now, to grasp the meaning. All my life, I thought you "fall in love" . Love was something that happened to you. It was a passive verb. My dating life mostly reflects this notion. I have let the combination of attraction and chemistry take the lead role, and when this dynamic duo is a little more extraordinary then the rest, I fall. Falling has it's perks. You can't wait to see him. The simplest things make you smile. The highs are comparable to those of any great drug. But the problem with falling is that you tend to overlook the unfavorable qualities of that person. Sometimes, you let yourself be given the short end of the stick, because your too busy falling. We think because we really like someone, and feel something undeniable for them, tha

A Prayer for the Numb Slap me, I want to know it hurts. Kiss me, I want to feel the need. Tear me apart so I can finally feel broken, because right now all I feel is nothing. All I feel is nothing. Where did this stone of a heart come from? And who will take the time to break it? When will I finally let someone in? And will he likes what he sees? Will he like what he sees? Every night I say a prayer, A prayer for my heart to feel whole, A prayer for a sense of direction, A prayer for someone to touch my soul. Someone to touch my soul. -Nandita-

There has been a substantial amount of media coverage surrounding the rapes in Dehli. First, the young college woman raped violently by a group of men, and now the tragic case of a 5 year old child raped by two men and then left to die. The rapes themselves are disturbing and unsettling events, but the public's response to the rapes have been severely troubling as well. Yes, there has been some outcry of public outrage against the rapes, but there is still a great percentage of the population that have not come to terms with the severity of the crimes. Statements such as "Women who dress provocatively are asking to be raped" or "why does a woman need to walking around alone after 9pm?" are not uncommon. The "blame-the-woman" attitude is shared by both woman/men, rich /poor, and young/old. Below is an interesting article that delves deeper into the psyche of Indian men. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/24/india-rape-disturbing-attitudes-men

1. You will be understaffed. All the time. 2. Can the other nurse have the admission please??? 3. When your patient/ patient’s family genuinely thanks you for the care you have provided, it is one of the best feelings in the world 4. The break room is your diet’s worst enemy. Chocolate donuts anyone? 5. Men will constantly ask you to nurse them. And you will constantly fight the urge to punch them 6. Finding the hole on the first try warrants a celebratory dance. 7. Sometimes you learn more from your patients, then they will ever learn from you 8. Your hands will never look pretty. And you can’t decide if Purell is your friend or foe. 9. Disoriented elderly women give the best relationship advice 10. A little bit of Ativan never hurt anyone 11. There will be an hour when nobody needs you, and then three hours when everyone needs you 12. You never know when your shift will end….EVER. 13. Sometimes you will pray more for your patients than you do for your own f