Indian American Love Child

I have a serious bone to pick with our school systems, and maybe my parents as well. Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for the education I received, especially since education is a luxury, not a right, in many countries. And of course, I love my parents to death, and I am so thankful for all that they have done for me, and all that they have taught me. I just cannot help but feel that maybe both educations could have been better. Much better. The last ten years of my life have been very formative. I’ve had multiple defining moments from landing my first job, purchasing my first home, learning and refining my own finances and financial practices, trying to find a life partner, major health scares in my immediate family, and changing careers just to name a few. When I reflect back on these experiences, and the skills that I needed to navigate these life events, I honestly felt I was ill-equipped.  My formal education took place in one of the better school systems in New...

It is only fitting I talk about L-O-V-E around Valentine's Day. More specifically, lost love. It's been a tough couple of months for me as I've come to the sad realization that I no longer love what I do for a living. To some people, this is no big deal, as they might have never even come close to enjoying what they did, yet alone, loving it. But I LOVED nursing. For many years, no matter what shift I worked, how sick my patients or how many patients, how staffed or understaffed- I loved my profession. Of course there were bad days, but despite even the worst days, I loved being able to guide my patient through sickness to health, to be a pillar of support and a comfort at their most vulnerable time, and to use my skills and critical thinking to make sure all my patients were safe and that their needs were met. I never thought I would tire of nursing. I very much believed I could be a career nurse, retiring after 30 + years of patient care- satisfied and happy. Sadly, ...

It's true, you become wiser with age. Maybe you understand the world around you better? Or you understand yourself better? Or maybe you just grow to know what actually is worth understanding and what just doesn't deserve your attention. For me, I think it was a combination of all three that has led to some much needed wisdom in my life. Strangely, this wisdom came upon me suddenly in the last few months. I didn't seek it or ask for it, but I am grateful for it, as it has given me a sort of mental peace I have not had in a long time.  The first piece of self wisdom I came to realize is life is full of choices and options. I know it sounds crazy obvious, but truthfully I am not sure I fully acknowledged the flexibility of life. In the early stages of contemplating moving back to California, I was having some anxiety about whether it was the right decision. I was mentally weighing all these insignificant pros and cons, and was still undecided as to which option was the be...

Well a lot has happened in the last couple of months but for whatever reason, I just haven't want to write about it? But here is the quick synopsis:  a. I turned 30 and it was fabulous. Literally, the perfect birthday...my family and friends teamed together to surprise with me this amazing weekend. I thought turning 30 was going to be kind of traumatic in ways...like I would feel unhappy with where was I was in life, what I had not achieved but hoped to achieve, etc. But instead, I felt oddly very much at peace and happy. I guess that is the power of being surrounded by unconditional love and giving significantly less shits about lots of things? Lol I am not complaining.  b. Living at home, to my surprise, has been awesome. To have the four of us under the same roof again + us getting along (for the most part) with the added bonus of getting to spend my days off shooting the shit with yera, having a nice space to rest my head, coffee and a full kitchen to play in...

You know just as quickly shit goes wrong, sometimes it seems to all come together just as quickly. All the things that went haywire the last couple of weeks, just seemed to come together and I feel soooo much better!! I had a couple of open houses this weekend, and I had so many strong prospective tenants!!! I had a good feeling about one of the women that showed interest, and sent in her application today, and everything looks excellent!! So now that project is lie 75% done! I think I am going to sell most of the furniture instead of moving it to the basement. I honestly don't think I am going to settle in one place for any amount of time. Might as well, lighten my load! Speaking of lightening my load...My workouts have been going pretty damn well. So feeling pretty good about that! I found out I am getting more orientation at this new job, and I found my old nursing ICU cheat notes so been reviewing that. Overall, I am definitely nervous to go back to patient care, but fe...

Lawwwwddd, let me just write all my crazy. I am just gonna write my crazy, so I don't act my crazy. And hopefully, I'LL BE DONE WITH THIS DAMN CRAZY. The past couple of weeks are testing me. I am just so angry at the world right now. And you know I know that in the bigger picture of all the crappy things that are happening in the world...hurricane harvey, hurricane Irma, and whatever damn hurricane is brewing next...my problems are shit. But you know what, I am still pissed about it. I am just gonna write it all down in all my fury, and snap the f out if tomorrow. Here are all the damn things I am pissed about right now. 1. This whole new contract has been a hot mess. A hot freaking mess. From the hospital giving my company the wrong information, so I could not start on time. Then me just sitting here waiting for them to get back to my company on when I can start. Then the icing on the damn cake...I find out they want to give me FOUR HOURS OF ORIENTATION with the charge nu...

This week seems to be testing me left and right, we got some horrible news this afternoon that J Ben was shot some time last night. THANK GOD she didn't suffer any fatal injuries, and I think she will be okay (physically) but how traumatizing!! My heart aches for the youngins. I can not even imagine how horrible it must feel for them to see their mom go through this, and how scary it must be for them as well. I am praying for her speedy recovery, and strength to overcome this crazy experience. :/ On a brighter note, yesterday was Yera's graduation! I am so super proud of her, and seeing her give the commencement speech was absolutely amazing and just brought tears to my eyes. I still remember playing with barbies at the playground like it was yesterday, and then to see her in her Doctorate cap and gown was surreal. I am excited for her, and this next chapter of her life! Speaking of new chapters, tomorrow Yera and I move home after many years. Mummy is very excited which...