Lawwwwdddd


Lawwwwddd, let me just write all my crazy. I am just gonna write my crazy, so I don't act my crazy. And hopefully, I'LL BE DONE WITH THIS DAMN CRAZY.

The past couple of weeks are testing me. I am just so angry at the world right now. And you know I know that in the bigger picture of all the crappy things that are happening in the world...hurricane harvey, hurricane Irma, and whatever damn hurricane is brewing next...my problems are shit. But you know what, I am still pissed about it. I am just gonna write it all down in all my fury, and snap the f out if tomorrow. Here are all the damn things I am pissed about right now.

1. This whole new contract has been a hot mess. A hot freaking mess. From the hospital giving my company the wrong information, so I could not start on time. Then me just sitting here waiting for them to get back to my company on when I can start. Then the icing on the damn cake...I find out they want to give me FOUR HOURS OF ORIENTATION with the charge nurse and have me take on an assignment. ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Do they want me to kill someone?! A charting system I have NEVER used, a hospital I have never set foot in, equipment I am not familiar with, blah blah blah. How does this sound like a good idea to them?!? I even told them I was not comfortable with the idea, and they didn't seem receptive to giving me more time. Of course, I haven't worked the bedside in months, so I am nervous already, add THE FOUR hours on to reorient myself....I can't freaking wait. Since they messed up my schedule, I have another week to kill at home so I am gonna try and review some stuff, but I am just sooooo pissed about this new job and i haven't even set foot in the damn place yet.

Also, they want me to wear that same ugly ass blue and white uniform. Hate that uniform.

2. Sooo annoyed with my company. Thanks to my recruiters mistake- I lost money that they can not seem to recoup. They cannot seem to advocate for me in my last contract. My recruiter decides to take time off and not let me know while i am in limbo for my next gig. I am already talking to other companies, the only way I am sticking with them is if they give me a package I can not refuse. BYE FELICIA

3. My tenants are moving. God bless their souls, they are sweet. But damn I just don't want to deal with finding tenants- even though the place is super easy to rent. I just want to complain and not deal with it

4. Turnip that little cute ass piece of shit. I let that thing sit for 8 months- oops, my bad. And it just completely stopped working. Worse yet, i couldn't even enter the car. Had to get it towed and fixed. But my bug-a-boo is back and good as ever- but why does it have to scare me like that?!?? Also do i really have to get registered in NJ?!

5. Friend drama. I'm gonna leave it at that. Actually let me add....unnecessary friend drama.

6. The last and maybe the worst.... for whatever reason, I am being so mean to my mom. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY. I choose to move home, and yet I am acting like it's an imprisonment. I snap at her when she talks to me, I refuse to eat her food, I keep to myself....what the hell has gotten into me??! Maybe its because I feel like I regressed-but hell I chose this! I act mean, then i feel bad about it, and in the week I have been home I haven't changed- I need a serious slap on the face. I mean I know what I am upset about.... i go on social media and so many of my friends are getting married, having kids, setting up their own homes- and here I am, back home with mom and dad. But god damn, I could have been married five years ago to some ladoo if thats what I really wanted. I need to stop victimizing myself and for sure, STOP TAKING IT OUT ON MY PARENTS.

LAAAAAWWWWDDDD, why ya testing me? God give the strength to keep me and my (unwarranted) temper in check. And I just started reading this book, I already forgot its title, but basically something about not giving a fuck. And it's great, and its helping (lol though this crazy post doesn't prove it)- but they need to invent something STAT that allows you to download info into your brain. I need this book's zen all up on my life right now. GIVE ME ZEN.


Ok thats a wrap. That is enough sounding crazy. Bagging all those damn emotions and throwing them out the door.

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