Me, Myself, and I - Part 2



I just found out a little over a week ago that I have a semester off from school. My work schedule is sporadic as always, but I will definitely have quite a bit of downtime. Normally, this free time would have me jumping with joy. Instead, I am almost dreading it because I am afraid. I am afraid of being alone.

In 2009 I wrote about the importance of spending time alone. Fast Forward to 2013 and I have forgotten what it is like to be alone. The last two years (maybe more?) have been a non stop frenzy of dating. I cannot remember the last time my phone was not bombarded daily with messages from men trying to land a date, "be my friend", or try their luck at something more. Beside my phone, there hasn't been a time period longer than a month that did not involve a date of some sort. My quest to find love has left me exhausted, a little jaded, and more confused than I have ever been. I need some time alone to recoup, regroup, and figure out what it is that I am looking for. But the sad truth is, I have forgotten what it is like to be alone. There has always been someone there to talk to, or go dancing with, or have dinner with, or text, or hang out with. What does one do when they are not doing all of that???

 Recently, I realized my feelings for a certain person, and I expressed them. I am pretty positive he does not feel the same way. I am upset, but life will move on. This rejection is the motivation I need to take a break. I am going on a self proclaimed mancation. Time to reclaim my sanity. I used to volunteer, and read, and watch TV & movies like a normal person. I miss going to the gym regularly & I miss cooking big elaborate meals. I don't remember what it is like to be alone, and I am sure it won't be easy...but it is necessary. You cannot love someone else if you don't love and appreciate yourself. So wish me luck on my journey to date myself :)

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