Mummy

A woman always has a special relationship with her mother. She is the first person we try to emulate. She is our supporter, our mentor, and our friend. Sometimes our relationship is tumultuous, other times effortless and gracious, but always and forever, it is bound by love. She is the woman that gave us life, and if you are as lucky as me, she is the woman that showed you how to live it too.

 This past week marked the 50th birthday of the most remarkable woman I know, my mom. Everything I am, and anything I have ever achieved, can be in some way attributed to her. In fact, I always tell people, I will be very lucky if I turn out to be even half the woman she is. She has many wonderful qualities, but the ones I love, admire, and hope to adopt the most are her resilience, spontaneity, integrity, compassion, and vivaciousness. To celebrate and commemorate these qualities, I have decided to share five stories that really capture the essence and spirit of my mother. 

My mother came from a relatively small town in South India, where she lived with her two older brothers, and mother. They were by no means rich, but she led a comfortable life. At the tender age of 22, she left everything and everyone she knew, and came to America to build a life with my dad. In order, to make a better life for the family, she started working night shift as a nurse's aid. At the same time, she was going to nursing school during the day to become a RN, and all the while, pregnant with my younger sister. She only slept 3 hours a day for almost 3 years. During that time, there was always a home cooked meal for dinner, and a clean home to for all of us to come home to. She must have missed her family beyond words, and must have missed the comforts of her old life, but she never felt bad for herself, she persevered. Time and time again, she takes whatever adversity that comes her way, and channels it into change and progress. Not only is she one of the most resilient women I know, I also think 10x before I voice my frivolous complaints to her :)

 Apart from being superwoman, my mom can also be super fun.  One of my favorite memories from my childhood was when we set up a huge inflatable pool in the living room of an apartment we had just moved into. It was a hot day, and the pool in the development hadn't opened yet, and so my mom decided to take matters into her own hands and open up shop. So there we were all four of us, no furniture yet, just a big pool in the middle of a room, and it was fabulous. Absurd, but fabulous. To this day, she is one of the most unpredictable people I know. I can not recall the amount of times, she has booked a last minute vacation to a fabulous destination or picked up a new atypical hobby. Bhangra dancing? Sure. Oil painting in florida? Sure. Weekend in the Islands? Sure. Honestly, she has been YOLOing before Drake was even born! We are blessed to have her in our life because her spontaneity keeps not just herself young, but our whole family!

My mom’s zest for life always kept things in the Patel household fun and interesting, but what really shaped my sister and I into the women we are today, is her integrity and compassion. Growing up lying was the one of the biggest crimes we could commit. My mom could care less if I got a C in math, but god forbid I lied, all hell broke loose. At the time, I didn’t get it, other parents seemed to mostly focus on grades and academic achievements, and all my mom seemed to focus on was my behavior, choices, actions, etc. But now that I am older, I am so grateful for not only my mom’s life lessons, but having such an excellent role model when it comes to making moral and just decisions. I can’t really recall her telling a lie (at least not a serious one). Sometimes this world seems laden with people who are full of deceit and hidden agendas, it’s nice to know that people like my mother can and do exist.

Second, only to her integrity, is her compassion. I remember when I was younger (a time when my parents were by no means well off), my mom packed a car full of stuff…shoes, a microwave, coat, just a bunch of stuff. I asked her what she was doing with all of it, and she told me she was giving it to her elderly patient who was struggling. It melted my heart. Countless times through her profession as a visiting nurse, I saw her give things to people who really needed it, without any expectation of reward or recognition. Even in her personal life, whether it was a young beggar on the street, or a family member in need, she never failed to provide whatever it was that was needed. She comes off as stern and unyielding at times, but she truly has one of the biggest and most altruistic of hearts that I have ever seen.

The truth is I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. Every time I think about how we almost lost her, I feel like crying. Those three weeks she spent in the ICU, on her death bed, was the most horrible three weeks of my life. The whole time I was an emotional mess; I was consumed with fear and doubt. My faith was shaken, my spirit dampened…but my mom’s wasn’t. She was strong as ever. She told us, she was going to live. She was going to fight the pulmonary emboli. She prayed, she took charge of her medical treatment, and even in the ICU bed, she made sure she looked fabulous. She told the doctors, she was going to South America next month, and she made sure she did. Her passion for life is unparalleled, and I am so incredibly thankful, that she is still here with us.

Words cannot express the impact and influence she has had on not only my life, but the countless people she has encountered. She is a role model and inspiration to so many, and anyone who has had the joy of knowing her, can honestly say their life has been enriched. Her unabashed, unapologetic, go-getter, feisty, hot mama attitude has won the hearts and admiration of so many. I am truly blessed to call this incredible woman, my mother.

With so much love and gratitude,

Happy Birthday to my one and only mummy!

 

-Nandita-