Crossroads

I had this strange dream (or series of dreams, couldn't really tell) last night. In them, I was married to three very different real life men. How much truth or reality there is to this dream is surely questionable, but I woke up with a really strange feeling. My life was so different with each man, and each offered me three very different lives- each good and bad in their respective ways. I woke up knowing exactly which life I needed, and which man could offer me that life, and yet in no way did I derive any happiness from that realization.
 
Truthfully, I am at crossroads when it comes to my life. At this very moment, I know exactly what I need but I have no idea what I want. A part of me wants to say F it, and just have a royal time doing me. God knows, my life is going really well right now, and I am truly happy in every sense of the word. Why lock myself into something, when there is a whole playful summer ahead of me!
 
But then the other side of me, the more rational side of me, knows that I am deserving of far more than recreational trysts. I don't want the jaded girl inside of me to dictate the terms of my future decisions. Truth is I am blessed with the ability to care and love, and I should be exercising that, not playing the field.  
 
I am at a crossroads. One road leads to fun without fulfillment. And one road leads to ? but possibly something great. What will I choose? I am praying for strength to choose the latter. #Godleadtheway #IhaveFaith

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