On to Phase 2: New Beginnings

Shit just got really real, and really quick. Monday marked the first day of the Neurocritical Residency Program. The past month has been a whirlwind with everything going on, so to be honest, I didn't get much time to think about the program. Needless to say when I started the week was intense. I don't think I have ever been so excited, nervous, proud, and honestly scared shitless in my life!!!
 
For starters, I feel very proud. Turns out this is the first nurse externship/residency program ever to happen at JFK, and I get to be one of the first participants! We were "hand selected" from a very large group of people as per my managers... and I personally know countless people who did not make it. I feel so blessed and honored to be part of the program, and I can't help but feel this job is going to take my career to whole other level that I didn't even imagine!
 
Even though I am really excited and proud, I am also terrified. The depth of knowledge I need to acquire in a short amount of time is enormous and daunting in and of itself. Plus, the hands on assessment & intervention skills I will have to not only acquire but also be competent in are numerous. And finally, the acuity of the patients are ridiculously high. In short, I cannot screw up because someone's life is literally in my hands. One wrong drip, one missed neuro check, or one wrong drug and the patient can deteriorate and eventually die. #nopressure
 
I haven't seen or worked with so much. A lines, EVD's, s/p OR, titrating drips, sedation protocols, etc are so foreign to me!!! I am especially nervous because I have the least experience from the group (6 people)! I have my work cut out for me, but I am ready for the challenge. They have given us a whole big binder full of information,  protocols, and EBP guidelines to provide references. Plus, we have an online self guided learning program through the American critical care association. And finally a textbook to reference. Plus, experienced doctors, residents, nurses, and clinical nurse specialists as preceptors and educators. I passed the first part of the program- the respiratory module- and I have already learned so much! I have all the tools to succeed, and they obviously saw something in me, so I am going to make it happen!!
 
Plus, I have already bonded with my fellow residents so its going to make for a great experience!
 
In other news... I am about to be a homeowner!!!!!!!! We settled on a price, and now the condo is in attorney review!!! I am finally understanding this mortgage business and I am diligently working on getting one. If all goes well, I will close on April 15th!!
 
Lots of exciting things!
 
side note: It's also strange how one's priority changes as one's life changes. To be honest, I was never really career oriented when I was younger. I always wanted to be financially stable and somewhat successful but it was a never priority. But I have changed... I love what I do, and I want to excel at what I do. I want challenges, and new experiences. I have salary goals, and career goals. I always valued marriage and children, and even though I still do, the desire to take on the mother and wife role has lost it's charm just slightly. It's such a strange feeling for me? But, alas, I like it :)
 
My life seems to be heading in a fabulous direction... new job & new condo. Growing older may be more stressful at times, but it is also hella rewarding. This year definitely marks the start of a new phase of my life. I am excited to see what the next quarter century has in store for me!!

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