Mi Corazon

What a whirlwind of a week. Hell, let’s be real, what a whirlwind of a month/year! Six hour flights (ugh) back to San Diego, allow for ample time to reflect and process, so let's start... 

In reverse order:

My week last week was pretty hectic, travelling all around the bay putting out different fires in my various accounts, but feeling generally positive. Mid-day Thursday I get a call from Papa, which I immediately take since I never get a call from him during the day. He informs me that mummy is in the hospital with chest tightness. They ran a gamut of tests, and the stress test resulted in an area of ‘reversible cardiac ischemia’. The doctor’s wanted to do a cardiac catheterization to follow up. I was immediately shaken up, and my mind began to wander in hundred different directions. Was this related to her PE’s? She didn’t have any cardiac history after all. Was her heart feeling a new strain from the blood clots? Was it a new blood clot? Was it something new all together? To make matters worse, I just wanted to be there. The thought of her getting something invasive done and me being across the country was extremely unsettling. Especially, given her history. I happened to be with my team mate, and the VP at the time…when I told them the news, they immediately told me to start looking for flights to go home. I was so touched. When I informed my boss, and my other team mate, the response was the same. Go home, take how much ever time you need, let us know how we can help- we are here and supportive.  Messages poured in from my other coworkers across the country, and It reassured me that, I, one hundred percent made the right decision when choosing this company. And it was the first of many heartwarming moments this weekend.

I reached home (after a bit of a travel fiasco- booking last minute flights on a holiday weekend is no joke!!!), and I was immediately reassured, I had made the right decision. Seeing my family, especially my mom, in strong spirits, and doing well was incredibly reassuring. Being able to be by mom’s side through the medical decisions, treatments, and procedures gave me mental and physical peace. Long story short, my mom’s catheterization happened without any complication and came back negative for any cardiac issues. Mom is going to follow up outpatient with specialists to determine further causes, but at least we know it isn’t anything acutely distressing. 

Throughout her hospital stay, the love and support our family and friends showed us was once again, INCREDIBLE. My family rotated in and out of the room, camping out in the waiting room almost all day, just to be of support and aid with whatever we might need. Call, texts, messages from all over to make sure she was okay to those who couldn’t make it. Multiple friends of mine came and visited us in the hospital…parul, guddi, rosh, viral, alex, maria…many more called, texted, offered rides, places to stay if I needed. My mom’s friends just as supportive! Yera’s Hersh, and my doctor friends, were on standby all the time for any questions/concerns/help we needed. In 2012, I knew I was blessed when we first experience this outpouring of love and support. But this weekend, I learned even more. I learned the importance of relationships. People show love and support to those who give love and support. I am blessed to have created these symbiotic relationships over the years, and to know that my relationships continue to extend beyond just happy times- they are strong through even the toughest of times. I may not be the richest woman in monetary terms, but sometimes I feel the richest when it comes to the amazing people in my life, and the love that they show. 

Okayyyyyy, so this always happens lol. I get bored of writing after I finish my initial topic, so I will just bullet point the rest. 

1.    January started with me feeling hella refreshed post vacation. I totally checked out, out of work, out of life, and lol it felt amazing. I very much needed that.

2.    I came home from vacation with a little bit of clarity about my dating life, and had to have a tough conversation which was not fun for both parties. At the end of the day though, I know I did what I needed to do, even if it wasn’t a great feeling. 

3.    That conversation left me feeling not so great when it came to the dating arena, coupling that, with resuming a hectic travel schedule- left me feeling, quite honestly, I think a little depressed or lonely. I really don’t think I have ever been depressed In my life. Distressed- yes. Upset- yes. Sad- yes. But depressed-no. But here I was, feeling just not like myself. I was feeling down and finding it difficult to shake. Moreover, I was sleeping incredibly, which is VERY unusual for me. Plus, I wasn’t able to find the desire to work out at all. And I mean at all. I was like eating like crap. All this didn’t help me feel better at all. It took me a second to recognize to it- it had probably been going on for a little over a month, but it took me weeks to pinpoint what it was that I was feeling. Long story short, I think I have snapped out of it (I think). And after going home, I feel even better. I’ll journal about it, if it returns, but hopefully, it was an acute issue that has now passed. 

4.    Things in my personal dating life can be described as a stagnant at best- mostly because of myself. I have plenty of suitors, I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to give anyone a real chance- but I will change that!!

5.    On the other hand, my professional life is going super well!! Keith and I closed a major deal in January- a major milestone for the company! It was reassurance and measurable outcome that: 

a.    I don’t suck at my job

b.    I might actually be good at my job

c.    I am doing something right

After feeling like a lost puppy, for the first 7-8 months in this whole new world, I finally feel as if I have found my footing. I look forward to kicking more professional butt as this year progresses!!

6.    My New Years Goals include:

a.    Writing more…lots of things in my to-write list! Including book reviews, product reviews, fashion things, and my normal personal experience and opinion pieces. 

b.    Keeping in touch with my family more. Especially the family in India. Life is too short to not take the time to maintain and nourish those very important relationships with love, effort, and energy. 

c.    Take my dating lessons I have learned- all 10 year’s worth of them, and all the personal growth I have done, and try and find a partner. It is game on. 

Ok, I really want to get back to my book ‘Bad Blood’ so I am gonna cut this off, even though there is more I can say. Signing off here, but definitely trying to sign back into certain aspects of my life. 

Thankful and grateful,

Nandu