Nursing, GOT, and Timelines

I am going to preface this post by saying it is hella loud where I am at, and I can barely hear my own thoughts, yet alone put them into coherent sentences. Nevertheless, I feel the need to write, and I just feel like I have so many emotions/moments to chronicle. Anyways, where do I start?!

I guess I will start with work! Next week ends my first travel assignment! I honestly do not know where seven months have gone! It feels like yesterday I was sitting in orientation learning about snake bite protocols! Nervous, excited, unsure about the next couple of months would have in store for me...I never expected this. Nursing in California, or in particular Palomar Medical Center, has really given me insight into what nursing practice should really be like. Patient ratios, lift teams, resource nurses, and so many other resources make nursing not only way more manageable (far less burn out), but more importantly, so much safer! The acuity at Palomar was a little bit less than what I am used, and I did find myself missing the intensity and challenge of super critical patients, but even so, I feel incredibly spoiled. I can't even imagine going back to working without all those extra helping hands! Apart from Palomar's nurse friendly setup, I have to say, the staff themselves were so welcoming and pleasant to work with. In such a short time, I have met and grown fond of so many staff and fellow travelers. People sometimes share horror stories about travel assignments, and I am so lucky that my first one was so awesome. I came to San Diego with pretty much only Rose as my friend, and I am walking away with so many new awesome friendships...what a blessing! 

My next assignment is Kaiser, San Diego. Unfortunately, I have heard horror stories about that place, and that definitely makes me nervous. I am hoping so very much that it is not as bad as I am hearing it! Stay tuned for that saga :/

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Outside of work, my personal life has been very interesting. For starters, I have never felt quite this alone before. I often have days off where I just don't know what to do with myself. I miss my friends, and yera very much at those times. I think if I was single, i would somewhat probably occupy my time with dating, networking, or meetup events. But with that off the table, lol I just end up trying to watch stuff on TV. I got into Game of thrones recently, and well that was one gory, scandalous, yet awesome month. 

As much as I have enjoyed my GOT binge, I really do hope the weather warms up STAT, I think it will improve my mood and current feelings about SD greatly, because right now I am feeling a hundred emotions. A part of me is happy, I really really like S. I have no complaints about the time we spend physically together. He makes me laugh. I feel super comfortable with him. I think he is so smart, and quirky, down to earth, and in ways the calm to my storm. Plus god knows, I find him incredibly attractive! But outside of physically seeing him, I barely communicate with him. I know he isn't cheating or seeing other people, I know its just work and his workout schedule that keep him occupied but still its just not what I am used to at all. I miss sharing my day with someone, or just having random banter throughout the day. I miss someone wishing me good morning, and good night. I am trying to figure out how important this is to me. Is a couple of texts/phone calls worth letting go a really good guy? Am I just feeling this more because I am so far away from the people that would normally occupy my time? I like him too much to end things over this, but i do miss it. And I do feel lonely at times. And I do wish I saw him more. I don't know how you can have so happiness and sadness at the same time!! Life is so strange lol. 

For the time being, I am taking it day by day, I am trying very hard to live in the moment, and not worry about some greater picture. I am notorious for trying to plan my darn life out whether it be school, work, relationships, etc. But for all the planning I do, the best things in my life have mostly come from a deviance in my plans! So I am vowing to try and just enjoy my time here in California the most I can, while I am here. I am going to try and not focus on how lonely I get at times. I am not going to worry about my career path..whether I stay as a traveler, pursue my MBA, switch gears, etc. I am not going to think about my future with S or what happens in August. I am just going to live in the moment. No more timelines! 





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