The Bad Bitch Movement

I believe there is a new type of feminism emerging amongst the young women of today. I like to think of it as the “Bad Bitch” movement. Quite honestly, this carefree, ultra-aggressive, strong female persona sounds undeniably attractive to me and I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t want to be a ‘bad bitch’. I mean one can’t help but look at media’s self-proclaimed bad bitches: Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea, etc, and want in on the action.  But what are the implications for a woman who has chosen this bad bitch lifestyle, and what does it mean for the future of women in general?

I am all about female empowerment and equality, but I feel like this new movement might have taken things a step forward into possible dangerous territory. The term creates trouble on multiple fronts. First, by creating unrealistic expectations of what a strong female is, and secondly, by demeaning the role of a man in a female’s life. Now I know there is no one definition of ‘Bad Bitch’ but for my scholarly analysis I turned to Urban dictionary. As per UD’s third entry, a BB can be defined as a:

“A self-respected, strong female who has everything together. That consists of body, mind, finances, and swagger. Also, a female who does & gets hers by any means necessary”.

Starting with the first two statements… while this sounds great, it’s unrealistic for almost anyone to attain, regardless of gender! Building a great career, managing a home, bills, working out, raising kids, maintaining friendships & relationships, being a good citizen are no easy tasks, AND on top of that you are expected to have it together ALL the time?? That’s not realistic, and truthfully, that’s a recipe for a mental breakdown. Nobody, bad bitch or not, can live up to those expectations. In reality, life can be a series of trials and tribulations and with that comes times of strength and vulnerability. It comes with being human! A woman can cry, she can show weakness, she can show hurt...those are all normal reactions, and to expect any person not to have those reactions is ludicrous! I would love to say that I have it together all the time, but that is so far from the truth. Any person, who claims to have it together all the time, is probably lying to themselves and others. I think striving to create a meaningful and successful (whatever those terms may mean to you personally) life for yourself is very important, but I don’t believe in putting unrealistic pressure on yourself. Life should be about continuously trying to improve thyself, not about creating the façade of perfection. I know many successful women, who work every day to juggle the many facets of their life, and they do an amazing job at it, but I know for a fact every one of those women has lost their cool from time to time. Whether it was a failed career endeavor or a failed relationship, they have hit hard times, and when they did (as men so conveniently put it) they might have gone a little “crazy”. But it’s ok, because they are still amazing. If being a bad bitch means being out of tune with one’s emotions, and callous to life’s hardships, then I don’t think it’s a healthy or realistic state of mind to adopt.

Apart from promoting emotional callousness, I also think the term ‘Bad Bitch’ creates a negative attitude towards men.  It almost feels like a BB advocates for a departure from gender equality to wanting female dominance. At first glance, especially as a woman, this sounds kind of awesome. However, it is wrong on so many levels. Gender equality versus female dominance is so much better, and this is why. Gender equality means women and men both deserve the same opportunities, freedoms, responsibilities, etc.  I also believe gender equality implies a level of co-dependence. Equality means not only can women do what men do, but that we can also do it as a team. It suggests shared responsibilities in the work force, in the home, in relationships, in almost all aspects of life. Men need women, and women need men. Sure women can raise families on their own, or have successful careers/lives independent of men, but that doesn’t mean create a culture of women who think men serve no purpose in their life. Men, can and do, serve many wonderful purposes…from being dads to friends to lovers. We should be putting men on the pedestal next to us, not trying to knock their pedestal down. The second part of the definition states, “a female who does & gets hers by any means necessary”. I think this sometimes implies (and maybe this is just my own skewed perception) that men are disposable. Use them, abuse them, and move on. I guess a sort of payback for the way women were viewed for some time. But what can we achieve with this view? How could this selfish attitude do any good for society as a whole? Do we think we will save ourselves a little heartbreak from viewing men as toys instead of respectable counterparts? To me, a real bad bitch would respect a man, and expect the same level of respect back from him. She would be his equal, and in this equality, they would achieve even greater strength and growth. But that’s just my two sense.

After spending some time exploring the culture of a ‘bad bitch’, and my own feelings on my desire to be one, I have come up with some conclusions. First of all, the term BB has been a female driven concept that has helped women take the word ‘bitch’ and move it from a negative connotation to a more positive one…which I guess is a good thing. Also on the most simplistic level, I think it has helped women feel empowered, independent, take control of their sexuality, and overall just let them feel a little more powerful in what is still a man’s world. And that too is also a good thing. As with most things in life, there is a good and a bad side to it. I hope women can use it as a term of empowerment (if they so wish) without it creating unrealistic expectations of perfection, and also, degrading the role of men in women’s lives.

For myself, I have decided that while I am by no means at war with the term, I don’t think the term does any justice or accurately describes any of the amazing, well rounded, loving, successful women I know in my life. And so, I have decided to leave the ‘bad bitching’ for rap videos, and just strive to be the best version of me J

Simply,

Nandita