Rising in Love

Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind. Toni Morrison


This beautiful quote has left me puzzled, and I've raked my mind, for some time now, to grasp the meaning. All my life, I thought you "fall in love" . Love was something that happened to you. It was a passive verb. My dating life mostly reflects this notion. I have let the combination of attraction and chemistry take the lead role, and when this dynamic duo is a little more extraordinary then the rest, I fall. Falling has it's perks. You can't wait to see him. The simplest things make you smile. The highs are comparable to those of any great drug. But the problem with falling is that you tend to overlook the unfavorable qualities of that person. Sometimes, you let yourself be given the short end of the stick, because your too busy falling. We think because we really like someone, and feel something undeniable for them, that we should let ourselves fall for them. But maybe that's not the case...


I believe Morrison is suggesting that Love is an active choice. A girl may fall in love, but a woman chooses love. Seeing someone for all they are...good, bad, great, ugly... and choosing to love them. The person I want to spend my life is someone that is going to bring out the best in me. I think Morrison is saying, "I saw you for everything you were, and I loved you". I can not recount how many quality men I have let go in my life because I was naive enough to "want to fall in love" immediately. I've let men who would have stood by me thick and thin, respected me, loved me, and been faithful go. Truth is, I don't want to fall anymore. I want to discover, and love as I go. The power of choice, and free will, is what makes us innately human. And I want say "I choose you", it was an active decision, an active choice.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

RUTGERS baby!!!!

Image
It's been a crazy four years, but today marks the official end of my undergraduate career. How can I sum my time at Rutgers in a blog post? Totally impossible. But I can say this... there is not a thing I would change. I have quite literally grown up with Rutgers. The things I have learned, the people I have met, the mistakes i have made, and my achievements all shape the woman I am today. I remember my first day at Rutgers... the nervousness, the excitement, and mostly the happiness. Funny thing is I graduate with those same feelings. I am nervous and excited for this new stage of my life, but I am also thrilled. I can not even begin to explain how I felt today. I came home and waiting for me was my first medical school book that arrived in the mail. I was considering going out tonight, but instead I began looking through the book. My dreams are becoming a reality. My future feels bright, optimistic, and rewarding! I am flying high, and the sky is the limit! But before I embark on...
Read more

Direction

The roads of our lives come with no maps. No signs to tell us when to yield, when to stop, or when to go. Streets, alleys, and highways are forged as we drive along. There are crossroads, and choices to be made. There are u-turns, and detours. Sometimes we take the expressway, and other times the local. Sometimes its sunny, and sometimes it rains. But we keep driving. We keep driving. We drive and we drive, until one day our engine dies. Where did the road lead us? What was our destination? What was our purpose? 21 years. 21 years i have spent on these planet. What have i done? What have I achieved. Why am i here? I am driving, but it is foggy outside. I am trying to defrost, but my efforts are fruitless. Everything you do, everyone you love... what does it matter? Who will remember, and moreover who will care? Most of us drive along paved roads, there are few that create the beaten path. No ones journey is alike, after all we are all unique. But aren't most of our destinations the...
Read more

The "Illegal"

Recently, Vishnu and I watched "Illegal", a 2019 drama film directed by Danish Renzu. This powerful movie tells the story of a young man who comes to the US on a student visa to pursue his dream of becoming a film director. However, his journey is far from easy and the story sheds light on the many struggles he encounters along the way. As I watched the film, I was overwhelmed by a sense of melancholy and gratitude.  The melancholy came mostly from my thoughts of my parents, aunts and uncles, in-laws, and other cherished people in my life who had faced similar challenges when they arrived in the United States nearly three decades ago. Although they seldom discuss their experiences, I know that life was incredibly difficult for them back then. Many of my loved ones worked arduous jobs, sometimes multiple jobs simultaneously, just to ensure that there was food on the table. They took on this demanding work despite holding college or graduate-level degrees in India. In their pur...
Read more