A Tribute to Real Men

There has been a substantial amount of media coverage surrounding the rapes in Dehli. First, the young college woman raped violently by a group of men, and now the tragic case of a 5 year old child raped by two men and then left to die. The rapes themselves are disturbing and unsettling events, but the public's response to the rapes have been severely troubling as well. Yes, there has been some outcry of public outrage against the rapes, but there is still a great percentage of the population that have not come to terms with the severity of the crimes. Statements such as "Women who dress provocatively are asking to be raped" or "why does a woman need to walking around alone after 9pm?" are not uncommon. The "blame-the-woman" attitude is shared by both woman/men, rich /poor, and young/old. Below is an interesting article that delves deeper into the psyche of Indian men.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/24/india-rape-disturbing-attitudes-men

I could go on and on about how rapes and crime against women are devastating to a woman's social, physical, and mental existence, but anyone with half a brain knows this.  In times like these, it can be easy to man-bash (or society bash) and lament the sad state of affairs, however, all I can do is feel extremely grateful for the amazing men I have been blessed to have in my life. These men are truly one of kind, and their love and support have really helped shape the woman I am today. I honestly wish I could introduce the men that commit these heinous rapes to the quality men in my life, and then maybe they would realize what it is to be a real man.

My tribute to men starts with my amazing father. This man puts up with three ladies on a daily basis, and never complains. Our mood swings and attitudes, our inability or reluctance to navigate simple tasks (oil changes? Ain't nobody got time for that!), and our ungratefulness for all that he does, never stops him from caring, loving, and providing for us. He came to this country with little to his name, and made a career and a home for my family and I. Working, going to school, and climbing the corporate ladder so that his family could enjoy a comfortable life. Apart from his sacrifice and commitment to our well-being; he has strived to raise two independent woman. He rarely tells us or told us what we can or can not do. I still remember days when my dad would take me to the city with him for work, give me some money, and let me explore. Or the time, when it was snowing so hard, and I was a new driver...he just handed me the car keys. He had faith in our capabilities, and that helped us have faith in ourselves. Living independently, career choices, hanging out in NYC, furthering my education...my father has been supportive and understanding of it all. Apart from being a great father, he is also a supportive husband. My mom is an independent, fierce, and at times, demanding woman. My father has been supportive of all my mom's career and personal ambitions. Never above my mom, but truly her partner in crime. My sister and I are truly blessed to call this man our 'Papa'.

My extended family is also filled with amazing men. My uncles and cousins are truly loving, doting, and understanding men. They are truly gentleman and step up to the plate when their family is need. One prime example: I remember is when I was quite upset over a guy, and my cousin stepped up to the plate and comforted me without hesitation. Though some of my uncles may be more traditional and old school than others, all of them are loving and supportive of the women, especially the young women, in their life. Respect, care, and support is all I have known from my extended family, and for that I am also grateful.

Finally, my males friends are incredible as well. They are so respectful- I have never been called a deregatory term by them ever. They take care of us and keep an eye on us. They treat not just thier female friends with respect but also the women they court romantically. My friend's moms and sisters recieve nothing but upmost respect.

I truly feel bad for the woman who have the unfortunate experience of encountering bigoted men, but I rest assured that there are enough of good men like the ones in my life, that they too, will have the joys of knowing a real man.