Indian American Love Child

Baring my soul here today. I feel lonely. I have stopped actively dating for almost over a month now. I have been trying to occupy my time with other activities- working, caring for kulfi, working out, running errands, cooking, etc, but some how this feeling has still managed to creep in. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world- happily single. Other days, like today, I feel a deep loneliness. It scares me how I much I miss and need someone texting and calling me. Do i really need that much attention? Or is it more innate than that?  I think I just need someone there. Someone to make me smile. Someone to share my good/bad day at work with. Someone to watch mindless television with. Someone to cook for. Someone to love. I am worried that I will fall into the arms of just anyone because I feel so vulnerable. I don't know what to do. This mixture of elation & emptiness/numbness has me feeling emotionally bipolar . I hope these feelings are a passing storm. All that I can ...

I have wanted a dog all my life and now I finally have one!!! Introducing...Kulfi! She is an adorable 6 week old maltese/shih tsu mix! I got her two days ago, its so exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time! I love having her around but at the same time I have no idea if I am doing things right. Feeding, toileting, attention, etc are all so new to me. And when I went to work on Friday all I could think of all shift was how alone she was, I could not wait to go home!! I can't even imagine how mothers feel when they have to leave their babies to return to work, it must be awful. I also realized I will be 'one of those mothers'. My camera is filled with pictures of her, and I will show them to anyone who will listen. God help the world when I have my first baby! On other news, It's pretty T-1 month till the Bachelorette/Bday trip with the girls...Can't wait! I have been spending time catching up with friends, spending time with family, spending time pursuin...

Hola! Happy Hump day! Woke up today feeling excellent! So much to catch up on...I will start with my fabulous weekend! Boston was great! Boston in summer is a world of difference than boston in the winter. I had fun on both trips, but this had a very different charm. On Friday we were greeted by roshani's brother- Neil. What a gentleman. He picked us up, gave us a mini tour, and dropped us off at the hotel. We checked into the Boston Park Plaza. Hands down the scariest hotel I have ever stayed at... the hallways looked like something straight out of Stephen King's 'The Shining'! That night, rosh and I got ready and headed out. Lol the nightlife in Boston was hilarious. Girls in flipflops, men who can't dance, the 22 year old Obama look alike, Rosh's Italiano, the R&B room...we have a great time just taking in the scene. Headed back to the hotel and indulged in late night pizza. Note to self- nothing beats 99 cent NYC pizza when you have the late night munchi...

Life has been good. Really good. I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It's like some burden is slowly but surely being lifted off my shoulders. I definitely needed some time to myself. I needed to reevaluate what I need, what I am looking for, and what i deserve. I don't think I have it all figured by any means, but I am slowly learning. For starters, I have finally come to the realization that I am a catch. I am always beating myself up for my faults and shortcomings, but seriously F that. I am pretty damn awesome. I have a great career, a place of my own, & I am back in school- my life is figured out. I am well-travelled, well-read, and informed. I have a pretty sweet personality, and l am loved by all my close family and friends. And to top off all of this, I am pretty easy on the eyes. I have finally realized that I deserve an awesome man. Someone who has their life equally figured, and who has just as much to offer me as I offer them. My mom once said...